What should I do when a Family Member or Young Person doesn't come to threadHOURS?

Relationships are messy.  Working through the mess strengthens relationships. The suggestions below for these common scenarios come from young people and volunteers within Thread. 

Example:

Someone in the Thread Family isn’t coming to threadHOURS, which is a critical and consistent place where volunteers can have touchpoints with young people. You’ve sent reminders but so far it hasn’t worked - what can you do next? 

Potential Cause 1:

The Family Member doesn’t see the point since the young person does not respond to call, texts, emails and/or does not show up to other Thread programming.

Try This:

• If other Family Members have had success with meeting the young person at threadHOURS, connect them to this volunteer to share strategies.
• Ask the Family Member to go to the school early and wait for the young person outside of last period class to bring them to threadHOURS. 
• Ask the Family Member to text the young person during the school day to say how excited they are to see the young person that afternoon.

Why?

Showing all the way up by being physically and authentically present for young people means being consistent when they need you and sometimes when they step back. It may take time for the young person to find value in Thread programming, but you can help to change that perception by always being there.

Potential Cause 2:

They have a schedule that conflicts with threadHOURS.

Try This:

• Encourage them to work out a schedule in collaboration with the young person to meet outside of threadHOURS in a location that works for the young person.
• Provide support by helping them to plan ahead and block time for threadHOURS; help them see other solutions if they are available. Be sure to ask questions to understand if the conflicts are permanent and immovable.
• Host spaces outside of threadHOURS where volunteers and young people can connect.

Why?

Each person brings a wealth of knowledge and skills to the Thread Family, so it is important to meet them where they are at. By helping to provide a work plan and utilizing other Family Members to help redistribute the Thread Family responsibilities, you model treating relationships as wealth so that the Family Member can feel comfortable to do the same if the barrier was to reoccur. 

Potential Cause 3:

Family Member does not feel connected to young person and/or other Family Members.

Try This:

• Encourage them to try some simple conversation starters that have no right answers like a game of "would you rather" - they'll probably start learning things about one another they didn't expect.
• Help them work through the Questions to Open Up exercise to get to know one another.
• Encourage them to share their most embarrassing story that is safe for them to share with the young person.
• Plan a Thread Family shared experience based on an interest or schedule that works for the Family Member feeling isolated. 
• Introduce the Family Member to other Family Members in the thread or at the school site.

Why?

Showing  all the way up and being physically and authentically present does not only apply for young people but other volunteers also. By specifically planning an event that would engage the isolated Family Member, you are showing up in a way that demonstrates you and the Family Members care about the Family Member. 

Potential Cause 4:

Young person may be attending a school where threadHOURS is not hosted.

Try This:

• Encourage Family Member to work on homework or classwork with the young person in a location and time the young person and Family Member agree upon.
• Encourage the Family Member to meet up with the young person at a Transfer threadHOURS session. Check with your GrandParent or the Thread calendar to determine when the next session is.

Why?

Each Family Member brings a wealth of knowledge and skills to the Thread Family, so it is important to treat the relationships as wealth. By helping the Family Member to problem solve around this barrier, you encourage them to recognize the inherent value of ALL people, and that we all bring something to the table. They have the ability to strengthen their relationship with the young person anytime, anywhere.