What should I do if a volunteer is unresponsive?

Relationships are messy and part of the messiness are barriers. The solutions for these barriers come from suggestions from young people and volunteers within the Thread community. 

Example:

One of your Family Members or Head of Family  has stopped responding to you. You’ve tried calling, emailing and texting and have heard nothing back. Consistency is important for the young person(s) and your Thread Family, so you’re feeling frustrated by the lack of communication- what can you do next?

Potential Cause 1:

Family Member or Head of Family does not use the method of communication you prefer.

Try This:

• Check with other Family Members/Heads of Family about their connection with this person - see if anyone else has been able to make contact using a different method of communication. If so, try that.
• Check-in the next time you see them to ask how they best receive communication and try that method. 
• Offer to train/coach the Family Member/Head of Family around any technical issues.

Why?

As a Thread Family or a thread, it is important to learn from all voices, specifically starting with the assumption that people have the best intentions. Don' t assume that the Family Member/Head of Family is ignoring you. Instead, try to meet people where they are by seeking to understand how the Family Member/Head of Family prefers to communicate.

Potential Cause 2:

Family Member or Head of Family doesn’t know when/if you want a response.

 Try This:

• During the Family Meeting or a monthly check-in, agree on a norm for when you need a response from the Family Member or Head of Family  (i.e. adding “please respond” in the subject line of emails or text).   

Why?

As a Thread Family or a thread , it is important to learn from all voices, specifically starting with the assumption that people have the best intentions. Don' t assume that the Family Member or Head of Family  is ignoring you. Instead, try to meet people where they are by ensuring that everyone has an understanding of communication expectations.

Potential Cause 3:

Family Member or Head of Family is busy with other commitments.   

Try This:

• Work with the Family Member or Head of Family to map out what/how they can commit to being engaged. 
• The Family Member/ Head of Family or you (if you have permission) should communicate to the rest of Thread Family or thread and young person/adult what is going on.
• Ask what support they need from you/other Family Members in their Thread Family to create a reasonable Thread workload.   

Why?

By communicating with the Family Member/Head of Family, you model learning from all voices. By collaborating to find reasonable solutions for him/her you model actively listening to all voices while letting your voice be heard. This approach ensures the Family Member/Head of Family is included in the decision-making and keeps the Thread Family/ thread  in the loop. 

Potential Cause 4:

Family Member or Head of Family has had a personal or professional setback or disappointment.

Try This:

• Just listening is important - allow them to process the setback; having you as an understanding, accepting and empathetic sounding board can be immensely helpful.
• Be vulnerable - If you have a related story and are comfortable sharing, model openness with the Family Member/Head of Family by sharing your own personal or professional setbacks.
• Once you’ve uncovered the cause, be sure to have the Family Member/Head of Family or you (if you have permission) to share with the rest of their Thread Family.

Why?

By communicating with the Family Member/Head of Family, you are learning from all voices. By first allowing the Family Member/Head of Family to share and then sharing your own story, model actively listening to all voices while letting your voice be heard.  This approach ensures the Family Member/Head of Family knows that they can be vulnerable with you and also allows for them to share how they may need you to support.

Potential Cause 5:

The Family Member or Head of Family isn’t showing up to Thread events, and is not responding at all to your communications.

Try This:

• Be persistent: Be sure to try the 3x3 method: 3 calls, 3 texts, 3 emails, etc. at 3 different times.
• Ask another Family Member/Heads of Family and/or the young person who has a relationship with that person to reach out to offer support. This strengthens trust within the Thread Family/ thread.
• If no one has contact with that Family Member/Head of Family, discuss re-engagement support with the GrandParent or Community Manager. 

Why?

Treating relationships as wealth means utilizing the bonds formed by everyone in the Thread Family/thread. By allowing another Family Member/ Head of Family to reach out, you model that you recognize the inherent value of ALL people and that they bring something to the table that can help the Thread Family/ thread to thrive.